419 Live

Live from….let’s not worry about that, it’s Super Showdown, where a bunch of regressive assholes on couches ignore professional wrestling they paid billions to get there.

If you’re like me and didn’t watch this abomination, here’s the Too Long: Didn’t Watch version to save you some time.

• Saudia Arabia allows women to be on the event…as long as they’re in a studio in Connecticut
• It’s hot as s@#= in the ring
• The Usos defeat the Revival because of course they do
• Baron Corbin gets defeated by a ref (like he should)
• Brock Lesnar continues to get paid obscene money to not wrestle in public
• WWE still thinks Finn Balor and the Demon are two different people
• Shane McMahon keeps on reminding us that WWE’s top guy can be defeated by a 49 year old executive
• Lars Sullivan abuses some little people for profit
• Triple H and Randy Orton have another match because people paid for it
• Braun Strowman beats a guy he always beats but this time it’s in Saudi Arabia
• Dolph Ziggler loses because of course he does
• WWE almost copies WCW with a 50 man battle royale. It’s won by someone who doesn’t work for them.
• More women are on the show…on a graphic…for the next pay per view
• Two elderly men tried to get people to remember them as Goldberg lost to a ring post then the Undertaker